Friday, March 14, 2008

The Time Has Come

It came.

The dreaded call.

The dreaded call from my school.

My decision must be made. Will I return to my job next year or will I resign and stay at home? This is not an easy decision.

I love staying at home. Just this morning, it was raining and the girls and I climbed back into bed, watched a little Sesame Street, and listened to the rain. I was thinking how it couldn't get better than this. I love taking the girls on long walks, going to the library or the park, my Tuesday lunches with my mom and grandmother, etc. I love not having to rush around all the time, constantly multi-tasking, and feeling like I'm doing a mediocre job at everything (mother, teacher, wife). I love the fact that I don't have to see my children cry in morning when I drop them off at the sitter's or my Mom's. I love feeling like I am making a difference in my children's growth and development (emotionally and physically). I love that my life now seems simplified.

Now, I do love teaching and in particular, my teaching job. I love that teachable moment. I love the bond that grows between teacher and student. I love the feeling that I am making a contribution to the future. I love to see academic growth and development in each and every student. I love that problem solving...trying to find the appropriate teaching style for each learning style. I love at the end of the day feeling like I am making a difference. I love the people that I work with and treasure the friendships I've made.

I've tried to do a pros and cons list but it's really harder than you might think. The one thing that keeps coming to my mind is: Can't I go back to teaching in a few years? Certainly, I could, but I would have lost my particular position that I do truly love. (I teach gifted students 1/2 of my day and the other 1/2 is spent teaching reading to students that are struggling).

Well, the decision must be made and soon. The School Board must have my decision by the March 31st meeting. Pray for me!

9 comments:

just jamie said...

Oh my Gosh. I absolutely feel your pain. I got the call last week. I had a day to figure it out. It's so hard deciding, today, what to do for the entire following school year.

I chose to stay home again.

I don't know what job will be there the following year. But I do know it doesn't come with as many kisses and hugs.

Good luck.

Kelly said...

I am praying for you. That is a very difficult decision to make. I pray God will make the choice easy for you - whichever one is right. I pray He will give you a peace about your choice and guide you to His will and then provide for you either way.

Misty said...

Your Father In Heaven will stir your heart in such a way to make the decision that is best for you and your family. This I believe with my whole heart.

Christy said...

You will make the right choice. Thinking about you...you are a wonderful mother AND teacher. Reguardless if you have a class at the moment or not. ;-)

Jennifer said...

I have been a stay at home mom for a while now and have finally decided to go back to work. I think the best thing is to pray and let God decide what he wants you to do. Good Luck!

Leigh said...

I know it must be difficult. I am praying for you. I have to say that I decided to stay home when Sledge was born she is now 10 (next week). I have no regrets. I am so happy to be able to watch my children grow up, pass on our own moral and value system to them and care for them when they are sick, etc. There is nothing like going to eat lunch at school with my youngest son and watching his face light up when I arrive. I wouldn't trade it. Children grown up to fast.
But this is me andmy decision. I will keep you in prayer.

A suggestion, because my husband owns a tutoring business, I though tof this....perhaps you could tutor children in your home, allowing you huhbby to be there when you tutor? Or go to a nautral location such as a library. Then you would have the best of both worlds (almost) buton your schedule...
Good Luck. Thinking about ya!

LaskiGal said...

I'm praying--I'm really, really praying for you.

I've gotten the "call" per se last week. I need to make the decision soon. We've visited a couple day cares and can I just say, my heart is not in it. Not at all. I can't bear to be away from him. I never thought, even when he was squirming away in my tummy, that I would be this connected. I'm dreading the day that I have to make my decision. But, will I dread the day I have to leave him even more? Oh, Lindsey, I feel your pain! Praying . . .

Leigh said...

so? do tell....I am sure still thinking. Let me know. Prayers are with you.

LG said...

I will pray for you too, cause I am sure its toughm but I vote for stay home. You're a rockin mom and these moments with YOUR children can never be regained! Life is short.